The appropriate category for this post would be “rant”. You have been warned. There is swearing.

I don’t consider myself a fair-weather gardener, mostly due to necessity. I live in Portland, Oregon, where it rains about nine months out of the year. It is Spring – the time to plant seeds – and seeds must be indeed be planted. If you wait to do yard work when it’s sunny, I’ll see you outside in July.

The vegetables are all on their way and needed some tending today, with light weeding and thinning. I also needed to get a couple large tomatoes in the ground, thrown the row covers back up, and get the bean seeds planted.

All of this was done in the pouring rain, which wasn’t so bad. I remove my work clothes and hang them on a hook on the back porch, where a large pool of water collects underneath. I change into my second set of clothes for the day.

An hour later I notice some ground cherries that need to go outside, since they are now flowering on my record player. Outside again into the pouring rain I go. A rain barrel is overflowing so I move hoses around to help with drainage. I change into dry clothes for a third time.

I’m so cold that I decide to take a long, hot bath to warm up – complete with a full cup of tea I sip while actually in the tub. I’m all clean and back into warm clothes.

Then I notice the earlier rainbarrel is now overflowing from the top, dumping water near our foundation. My hose maneuvering did not solve the problem earlier. The rain is not letting up. I go back outside into the downpour to rearrange the hoses. I attach a second hose to drain the water even faster, but can’t get the sprayer nozzle off the end. I try and try and try – with rubber gloves, with plyers, etc. Finally, I grab the hammer.

The spray nozzle is lying in a million pieces. The rain barrel is draining properly. I am now in my fourth set of clothes for the day. F@#$ you rain and your f@#$ing persistence! This is the life of the NW gardener.

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Written by Renee Wilkinson